Dogman (2023) Action Movie Review

If you've checked comments under posts about the recently released trailer for Luc Besson's "Dogman," you've probably seen people joking about it being like "Joker but with dogs." Well, after its premiere at the Venice Competition, we can confidently say, "If only." This movie, with its painfully obvious, unoriginal, and incredibly boring story about a cross-dressing person in a wheelchair who prefers dogs to humans, doesn't even come close to Todd Phillips' controversial "Joker." Even if you didn't like "Joker," you have to admit it didn't insult your intelligence as much as "Dogman" does.

Similar to Terrence Malick's somewhat better film, "The Tree of Life," this movie starts off trying to sound sophisticated with a quote. The quote, "When man is in trouble, God sends him a dog," by French poet Alphonse de Lamartine, sets the tone. But let's be real, Lamartine, if he were alive, would probably question what kind of trouble he was in for God to send him a "Dogman" – if he hadn't been dead for 180 years. All the "interesting" Lamartine trivia I just threw at you? I got it from a quick Wikipedia skim, which feels like more effort than the screenplay got from Besson (who probably wrote it in crayon). Now, the main character, Doug (played by Caleb Landry Jones), has a name cleverly similar to "dog." And if you enjoy that sort of wordplay, you'll love the part where Doug's brother Richie (played by Alexander Settineri) hangs a banner that reads "In the Name of God" backward in front of Doug's cage. When you see it from the inside, it spells G-O-D. If you can't figure that out, maybe you've just watched "Dogman" – there goes your rocket science degree.

Hold on, Doug's in a cage? Yep, you heard it right. Adult Doug, looking all battered and wearing messed-up Marilyn Monroe drag (more on that weirdness later), spills his tough childhood tale to the strangely invested psychologist Evelyn. Expect a break from the bland interview shots as we zip back to Doug's past. He shares, in overly chatty detail, how his abusive father kept starving dogs for vicious fights. When young Doug showed a bit of kindness to the dogs, his dad threw him into their cage, declaring, "They're your family now!" After a shotgun accident, Doug ends up disabled but with a poetic twist – he can walk, but each step brings him closer to death. Using his dog-whispering skills, he escapes his troubled past.

Now grown-up and locally influential, Doug runs a gang of super-intuitive but poorly distinguishable dogs. He catches the eye of a Latino gangster named El Verdugo and a persistent insurance agent named Ackerman. On Fridays, he spices things up by performing in a drag cabaret, just for kicks.

Maybe "Dogman" could be saved if Besson didn't feel the need to overexplain every quirk in Doug's personality. Doug loves dogs because of his dad, believes in God because of his troubles, and dresses in drag because of women's magazines and a kind social worker. It's all a bit too much.

The movie manages to insult various communities, from dog lovers to drag queens, but not in a way that's provocative or memorable. It's the little things, like cringe-worthy moments in the drag club or a cop thinking a Jack Russell is giving him a clue about a severed finger. There's no sign of Besson's once-praised visual style in a film that looks like it belongs on 90s TV and sounds worse, with on-the-nose soundtrack choices. The finale, a low-stakes "Home Alone" with dogs, falls flat, and as Piaf sings about having no regrets, you can't help but feel regret for the two hours spent on "Dogman."